Paath Session Wrap up

Wednesday, March 15th

THE SSA QUESTION BOX

Question #1

If you love someone from your heart, without thinking about his/her physical condition, and you aren’t married to that person is it Kaam or Prem?

Love is all about GIVING and SHARING and RECEIVING unconditionally. A Sikh should love everybody and not hate anyone as Sikhi promotes love. It is ABSOLUTELY fine to love another person. There is a difference between love and lust. There was a general consensus that one can have feelings for another before marriage and it does not have to lead to lust. However, it was also agreed that an individual will be aware when certain attractions towards another leads to kaam(lust) and in other cases moh(attachment) as well. Obviously there are many things that can attract one to a person. One of them, undeniably, being the physical looks, along with their personality and values. However, there is a thin line between that attraction and having lustful thoughts for a person, which you would notice if it occurs. The point is that you must be aware of your thoughts and where they are leading. A Sikh should learn to control the 5 vices of which two are moh(attachment) and kaam(lust).
Everything is temporary and fake and and being attached to something fake and temporary is a waste of time. We are all here in this world as "temporary guests" and what we do in this life will be reflected in the next life. Bani tells us to fill our jeevan with love for others and most importantly love for our Guru.

Question #2

In today’s society when we go to the Gurudwara, we see women and men sitting separately, could it be all right to get rid of that and have men and women sit together?

The members agreed that the sangat sitting separately (men on one side, women on the other side) is more of a cultural thing. Members felt this was not a form of inequality and more of a comfort level. One would feel more comfortable sitting in sangat without any distractions so they may concentrate on Guru Ji's Bani.

Question #3

Why is it that girls are not as involved in Sikhi as guys? We are seeing an increasing number of males becoming passionate about their faiths, what is turning girls away?

Media has a huge impact on today's Sikh girls. The media portrays a certain image of how a 'typical woman' should look (i.e. no facial/body hair, attractive/"sexy", and submissive). Most women are given into society's definition of how a women should look and act which pushes most women away from taking initial steps into Sikhi. A 'typical woman' as shown by the media is one that is a "toy for males", intellectually subordinate, and inferior to men. However, in Sikhi, both a Sikh woman and a Sikh male are capable of achieving the same level of spirituality. No one is perfect, we are all trying to better ourselves and get more onto the Sikhi path regardless whether one is male or female.
Popularity is another issue that girls these days face. However, it is not only an issue that girls face, boys face this same issue as well. As we all know and have been through, "fitting in" in highschool is one of the most important things in the minds of todays youth. Sikhi is seen as a set of "don't do this and that" and it is overlooked that Sikhi is more of a way of life, and a way to empower yourself.
Family is another major impact on a girl's decision to further her Sikhi. Most parents will advise against a girl getting to religious because they feel no one will 'want to marry her' etc. Sangat is another factor that influences one's participation in Sikhi. The people one 'hangs around' with have a huge impact on their outlook in Sikhi. For example, most guys have their own "gang" where they share mostly the same views and ideas whereas girls do not have that same advantage. Majority of girls do not share the same views in their circle of friends and tend to judge more. Girls feel they need to impress those around them in order to 'fit in'.

Question 4

I just wanted to know the views of Sangat in what they think makes a Sikh? What makes a Sikh girl call herself a Kaur and what makes a Sikh boy call himself of a Singh?

The prime aim for an individual is to become one with God. Basically, a Sikh is someone who is on the path to towards the Guru regardless of whether they are Singh or a Kaur. The importance of Amrit was also discussed. Taking amrit is not the final step in a Sikh's life, however it is one of the initial steps one takes during their path in Sikhi. Every individual goes at his/her own pace and no one is to say whether that person's level of spirituality is higher or lower than it should be. No individuals have the right to call someone else a "non-sikh".